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You sure did!

by ironduke on Jul.28, 2010, under random

Saw this on the way home the other day lol :-p

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Behold my bucket of Swedish magnificence!

by ironduke on Jul.19, 2010, under autos

I’ve bought a new car! Behold my bucket of Swedish magnificence! It’s a 1989 Volvo 240dl 5 speed and it is an excellent little car. I will write at length about it soon and take more pictures of it’s amazing cleanness but for now here’s a pic. I can’t help but smile while I drive it :-)

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Is that considered high mileage?

by ironduke on Jul.13, 2010, under autos

Tonight my truck hit 225,000 miles. It’s a 1998 suburban 2wd (the strange one because it’s not a 4×4) and you’d never know it had a shit ton if miles by looking at it. Only 25k more and I’ll have a quarter million!

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I hate my generation

by ironduke on Jul.09, 2010, under random

Never even have to say a word
That’s the best thing that I ever heard
You have left a fingerprint on me
Just dust and then you’ll surely see

I’ve got my reservations
And I hate my generation

If I was born in the 40s, I’d be a teen in the 50s
And maybe I watch too much TV
Maybe, maybe it’s my fault
I should take it with a grain of salt

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Its a stow’n'go!

by ironduke on Jul.08, 2010, under random

Ok here’s the deal. I work in a retail auto parts store, not saying which chain but it’s a major one and we do a lot of business. I work parts counter mostly which means I deal with every customer one on one to try and get them the right part to fix their problem. This part of my job I enjoy because I like helping people and problem solving, however, this is contingent on the customer giving me accurate information. Totally ignoring the people who come in and tell me, “my car is making/doing (insert vague symptom or sound here), what do I need to fix it?”, people also offer me really off the wall information that they are adamant matters. Here is my quick summary of what to and not to tell the person at the parts counter when getting parts:

Do tell the parts specialist your vehicle:

1. Year, cannot tell you how many people respond with “dunno it’s old” or “it’s pretty new” when asked what year their car is. Know the year of your car please, it matters, manufacturers change parts all the time.

2. Make AND model, don’t just say it’s a chevy truck, or a Chrysler van. Be specific because parts change by submodel.

3. Engine, please please please know what fucking engine is in it. Don’t tell the parts person “I dunno”, “the big one”, or a totally made up number like “it’s a 24 liter”. Even if you don’t know the specific displacement at least know the number of cylinders and if it’s an import know if it’s sohc or dohc, it almost always says it right on the motor big as life. With just those little clues a good parts person can help you.

4. For certain special vehicles, just know the details, like is it a 4×4, does it have 4 wheel disc brakes, is it the hybrid model, is it flex fuel capable? If you’re tearing into systems where these questions need answered to get the right part and you don’t know, you should find out before taking it apart and just making more work for yourself by risking improper service. There’s no need to be an expert, just know what you’re getting into, then the job will go quicker and there will be less trips to the store to “finally get the right part”

5. Do fill the parts person in on any modifications from stock that you have made that may be relevant to the part you’re asking for, like say you’re looking for a thermostat but you have an aftermarket intake, then you need the thermostat required by the intake manufacturer not the OE, details like that will help you both in the long run.

Do NOT tell the parts specialist your vehicle:
1. Color, unless you’re buying paint. “Red” doesn’t help them find you brake pads.

2. Trim package, most trim packages are totally irrelevant. Don’t tell them it’s an “Eddie Bauer”, “brougham”, “supreme”, “landau”, “stow’n'go” or any other assortment of ridiculous names the manufacturer decided to slap on it. These don’t matter mechanically. Exceptions to this are performance packages, but it’s still easier and clearer to just know your engine rather than try to explain “it’s a Pontiac, but a gxp so it’s different”.

3. Don’t tell the parts person “I need parts for that” (and then point out the door to a car parked 200 yards away), that’s just rude.

4. Don’t ask the parts person how to do something illegal or flagrantly unsafe, they’re not allowed to help you do that. Don’t ask “what do I need to bypass my catalytic converter?”, or “you think I’ll get pulled over if I put this on my car?”, or “what’ll happen if I rip my brake proportioning valve out and bypass it? It’ll be fine right?”. Hell no it won’t be fine! People who do this are really just looking for someone else to blame when it inevitably backfires. Take it from me, a person who has done flagrantly unsafe things for years, just do it properly the first time, it’s really just easier that way.

Just work WITH your parts person, most are knowledgable and genuinely want to help. Even if they don’t know the answer to your question odds are someone else in the store does and working together you’ll get your project done in no time!

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stupid nature… its so hot out.

by ironduke on Jul.05, 2010, under Uncategorized

Easy post today, too hot out to think very hard.  Just some good ‘ol men without hats.

So many things in my head, I’ve always had them before
No reason to be upset, they’re just ideas for walls
Now I’m standing inside, outside, which is the right side
I’m standing, demanding that the nightlife be called the right life

Like putting paint on my feet & walking sideways in rows
My walls could be so complete, complete with patterns of toes
Now I’m standing inside, outside, which is the right side
I’m standing the left side, right side, which is the right side
Now-ideas
Ideas for walls

A little m for the mirror, a double u for the wall
To make things perfectly clear, a great big h in the hall

Now I’m standing inside, outside, which is the right side
I’m standing, demanding that the nightlife be called the right life

Is everybody confused? (no) I’m making no sense at all
You want a room with a view you need ideas for walls
Now I’m standing inside, outside, which is the right side
I’m standing inside, outside, outside, right side
Inside, outside, which is the right side
Now — ideas
Ideas for walls

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I was going to work the other day…

by ironduke on Jul.04, 2010, under autos

driving along smith road up in the Michigan I ended up following a small red Mitsubishi lancer, not a fancy one just the little sedan. It very clearly said lancer and had a Mitsubishi emblem on the deck lid. In the back window it had a “out of a job yet? Keep buying foreign” sticker. I’m sorry, are you confused as to the country in which you live? Fyi japan is a couple thousand miles that way. Do you know the genuine country of origin on your Japanese namesaked car? Do you know where it was designed? built? finished? I didn’t think so. That kind of stuff burns my ass just like the idiots who put those stickers on their chevy pickups simply because they say Chevrolet on the tailgate. Do you have no understanding of a global economy? Look at the door sticker of your bowtie truck, betcha it says made in Mexico! Now think back to grade school geography, Mexico is a foreign country isn’t it? Moron. Know where your vehicle comes from, who built it, what factory it rolled out of before you make statements like that. Even if your car or truck was say GM, and made in the USA remember GM is a global automaker, they design, make, and sell cars in Ohio and china, the UK and Germany, all over the globe. Your $ spent in one area of a company is usually spent propping up another section that’s doing badly so the company maintains equilibrium, (can be done on a global scale, economists correct me if I’m wrong), so I guess right now GM Europe is the only thing that looks even slightly rosey.

If you decide that where the vehicle was built dictates being foreign or not you’ll be in for a heck of a surprise. Lots of Honda cars, theyre American, Toyota and Lexus too, Subaru also has assembly plants employing us citizens. My cars were built all over the place, I’ve owned hondas built in Ohio, I have a mostly foreign chevy truck, a Pontiac built in the USA, and we have another Pontiac designed by Germans but built in Delaware. Especially that last one German design built in the USA, is that foreign or domestic? The design is definitely foreign, different from every other Pontiac of the time, it’s made from globally sourced parts, assembled in the USA. To me most of a cars character comes from it’s actual design, not which particular spanner with a hammer followed the directions and put it together. To me this Pontiac is mostly German. It has styling features consistent with US pontiacs but it’s just a reskin on a German car. The only all American car I own is 30 years old and a Chevrolet, designed by people who I can only assume were drunk or high at GM and built in Michigan. A chevy citation, and nobody in the USA is proud of that one are we?

To conclude: isolationist Americans please pull your heads out of your asses and acknowledge that you live on planet earth, with other people and countries even! If you’re concerned about keeping $ in the USA buy your cars from the plants in the USA built by our American workforce regardless the brand or designed by our American engineers, everything else is so globalized that that’s all you can really keep track of anymore.

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You hopeless old fart

by ironduke on Jul.04, 2010, under Uncategorized

A datsun broke your neck!

-Richard Hammond

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The product of a spanner with a hammer

by ironduke on Jul.02, 2010, under random

So I had a day off… and got bored. I wanted to do something creative that wasn’t work. So I went out in the garage and using a hammer, an angle grinder, screwdriver, and a hydramatic 125 automatic transmission and made some… jewelry!

I call it the “125″ from the summer citation collection, haha. I took the end case off the transmission and pulled the input and drive gears out along with the chain connecting them. Then I very carefully ground down some of the link pin heads and cleverly reassembled a bit of chain shortened up and came up with a pin I can just drop in to take it on and off. Pretty bad ass eh?

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Why would you make a car freshener called “after midnight”

by ironduke on Jul.02, 2010, under random

And what does it reek like?

“Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There’s got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella,
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight”

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